Sebastian ♥

As of May 10, 2011, a prince swept me off my feet and asked for my hand in courting. I accepted, and he is such a sweetheart. I am so happy, and yet my heart aches terribly.Sebastian is so far away, that I fear my heart will yearn to the point of tears. Though distance keeps us apart, I know, in my heart, we will be together. Always.

Three Words, So Hard To Bear

I love you. I love you. I love you. Please do not hate me. Please do not walk away. Please do not allow friendships to shatter because of how my heart wanes for you. See how much I care, what I would sacrifice for you, kind, sweet prince. I love you. Please....please....love me back.

Love

I am in love, with someone tired to someone else's glove. I cannot resent them ever, ever, ever. I love them too much...and yet, I yearn for this person with every fiber of my being. I cry, I pine, I suffer, I rejoice.

The Past Never Dies

Not many people know that I recall bits and parts about lives I lived before this one, as Jaclyn. Past lives as many know them as. From war, to castles, to intricate designed clothes, to hearing nostalgic voices, it all comes back to me in my dreams, flashbacks during the day, or this intense feeling of deja-vu that it rocks my core. Yes, I believe in reincarnation, and I know my soul is not my own. It is a decently old soul that has seen its share of horror and happiness.
Lately, I have been having minor flashbacks about lives I once lived. During a car ride to Keene, NH with Lauren, we talked about our past lives and who we could have been. Instances that occurred in our childhoods gave us clues, but no resolutions. For example, one flashback I keep having is seeing white flashes and hearing metal upon metal slamming while a frantic voice is exclaiming, "Why are you doing this?! STOP IT!" Then it ends there. So strange, yet it does not frighten me whatsoever.
Thursday, Anime Boston weekend commences, and I am so nervous, yet excited. I get to see someone I confessed something to face-to-face....awkward, yet I do not know how I am going to feel in the end. I am going to try my best to keep all my spirits under control this year, especially in such a public setting as an anime convention. I will probably post later...just feeling nostalgic.
P.S.-Lauren believes I could have been some kind of Angel (yes, as in Evangelion Angel) in a past life....which one, that I am not sure about.

-Mikage

Meme/ Relationship Rants

What song are you currently addicted to?
Engel-Rammstein

What books are you currently reading? 
The manga "Grand Guignol Orchestra" by Kaori Yuki.

What was the last movie you saw?
Coraline

ZOMBIES OR ROBOTS:
Neither. Marionettes, puppets, and vampires for me.

Cats or dogs? 
Both.

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Revolutionary Girl Utena, Kuroshitsuji, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Panty and Stocking, Hakushaku To Yousei

What's your favorite character/band member/actor etc? 
Character: Souji Mikage
Band member: The t.a.T.u girls.
Actor (Actress): Kristin Dunst.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Both, depending on what mood I am in.

What was the last thing you bought?
Gas for my car.

Can you play any instruments?
I used to be able to play the piano and the violin.

Which fictional character do you think you’re most like?
Dunno *shrugs*

What do you do to change your mood? 
Watch anime, listen to music, read

What was the last meal you ate?
Lipton soup, cause I am sick at the moment.

Do you want to learn another language?
Yes! I want to learn French, Russian, Japanese, and Hungarian.

Chocolate or vanilla ice-cream?
Both.
 
What are you planning to do after you finish this meme?
Watch more anime.

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
Without you, I would probably be better off dead.

What are you looking forward to?
Anime Boston 2011.

Do you get cravings? If so, what do you crave? 
Yes. Mostly for sugar and spicy foods.

For the most part, the days have been holding empty meanings for me lately. There is this hollow girl I see in the mirror that is neither happy nor depressed, alive or dead, glowing or fading. I am stuck. I have become so distant from the Jackie I used to know, that every morning that I wake up, I feel like a stranger in a familiar bed. I am getting exceedingly uncomfortable with the fact that almost everyone I know is ranting and raving about their own relationships when I am sitting there alone and heartbroken in more ways than one. The purpose, the core, the reason I want to continue pushing forward for now is not for a soulmate. I can do well enough on anything all by myself, but fucking christ it is damn hard when you feel like you are an ugly woman who does so much to be a healthy, mentally stable person and nobody gives you a sideways glance. I want to stay single, but at the same time I wish my prince charming were here to hold me and allow me to cry and will actually listen to my sorrows and drink my tears with me. If only....

Madame Red x Grell Sutcliff

Cute picture is cute!!!! :'D

Off To Keene I Go!

Soooo, this weekend I am off to Keene to visit Kimberly, Kuo, and Minako for awesome, derp-tastic adventures and cosplay parties. Should be fun!!!!

Cosplays for 2011

My newly debuting cosplays for 2011 are as follows:

-Alois Trancy (Kuroshitsuji)
-Demon!Hannah (Kuroshitsuji)
-Girlycard (Hellsing Ultimate)
-Mari Illustrious Makinami (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
-Mikage Souji (Revolutionary Girl Utena)
-Madame Red (Kuroshitsuji)

Hopefully all these can happen :)

I Bring You A Song-Looking For Romance

I want this song played at my wedding. It makes me imagine a nighttime scene between me and my true love in a field of roses, petals raining all around us under a full moon and an endless sky of stars...

"I bring you a song
And I sing as I go
For I want you to know
That I'm looking for romance

I bring you a song
In the hope that you'll see
When you're looking at me
That I'm looking for love

I'm seeking that glow
Only found when you're young and it's May
Only found on that wonderful day
When all longing is through

I'm seeking that glow
Only found when a thrill is complete
Only found when two hearts gently beat
To the strains of a waltz that's both tender and new

I bring you a song
For I'm seeking romance
You're by my side
There's a moon up above
It shines with a light
That's so mellow and bright
It's easy to see that tonight
We shall fall in love

I bring you a song
For I'm seeking romance"

-Bambi 

New Blog

I find myself back here on blogspot after deleting my previous blogs for lack of better reasons. Perhaps I need an additional place to rant and create without being judged by immature assholes. Thus, I am back.
For any of you who know me and want to add me via livejournal (where you will find me as well) feel free to add me >>> http://grell-red-soul.livejournal.com/

My life has been exceedingly turbulent since 2011 has started. I have grown as a person lately, and am still finding myself each and every day. I will update this blog more often, I swear lol

Cheers :)

-Mikage